Daily Blog

I had a really good workout and high intensity cardio this morning.  My shoulders are going to really feel it, especially because they were a little sore going into the workout from kayaking yesterday.  Its been a long time since I have nailed my macros and I am really feeling that this week is going to be the week I get that done.  Its time to get things going.  My throat is killing me, my voice is barely existent, but I still dragged myself out of bed at 5:00 AM to go to the gym.  If I can do that, I can stick to the macros.  I am really feeling strongly about being disciplined this week, with everything!

Annette, do we have to start a wager in Vegas to motivate you to hit the macros? LOL!!!  Might be profitable and then neither of us would have to work, ha ha.
On a serious note, I am looking forward to seeing you hit the numbers this week.
Jannette

We don't have to, its a sure bet I won't hit them.  No need to wager. Or at least that was the case.  I was so pumped up today and then I got on the scale and let frustration get the best of me and the day ended up being a huge disaster.   I got pretty upset and I finally reached out to Joe.  See, I have been saying I may or may not compete in the fall because I was afraid I wouldn't make it and then be embarrassed, but in reality, I want to compete in bikini on November 6th at 115 lbs.  There, I said it.  I think not admitting it was a mistake.  I wasn't truly convinced until now.  I have a huge amount of work to do by then, but my mind is where it should be after really hitting rock bottom today and pushing myself as far out from my goal as I hope I will ever get at this point.  I can't wait to see what he comes up with. I haven't given him any reason what so ever to stick with anything even remotely aggressive, but I asked him to please trust me.  I hope he does and I hope he gives me what its going to take. 

My attitude is positive, I am can't wait to try the bikini class it will be fun.  Its refreshing to admit I want to compete and I am looking forward to everything I have to do to make it happen. Having a positive can do attitude is the first step and its a big first step.  I am done listening to all the people around me who say I shouldn't compete and I shouldn't put myself through the rigors of  dieting and cardio and my favorite, that its a little selfish.  Why not push myself?  If that is what I like, why not?  If I were training for the Olympics would I still get the same grief for pushing myself or be viewed as self-centered?  Doubt it.  I wish this hobby was looked at as more than a self-centered and egotistical hobby.  It takes just as much as any other sport, it just happens to be that in the end, you are judged on how you look instead of how may goals you get. Ultimately, for me anyway, it isn't even about what the judges think.  Its about me doing something I really like, feeling good about myself and most importantly, living a healthy lifestyle.  I lost sight of that ultimate reason for doing all this, but I have that back.

 I am so thankful that at least I get support from my husband.

Is it 5:00 AM already?  Time to get myself physched for a perfect day on macros, but first off to do legs and the arc trainer.  Looking forward to it.

Hey Annette, nothing wrong with wanting to compete and be the best you can be.  Not only do you have hubby's support, you have mine as well. 

My goal is to compete as well so why don't we work together to get there.  If I do compete this year, it would be in late October or November so we would be peaking very close to one another.  Having a little encouragement along the way with someone who has a similar goal would be good for both of us. 

I was up at 6:30 this morn surprisingly enough.  I got a short walk in and then worked core.  Whew, that woke me up. LOL!  How did the macros work out today?  You haven't touched on how you are missing the numbers.  I am curious to know.
J

That is a great idea Jannette, it is so nice to share with someone who is going through the same stuff to get to the same place.  I did much better on the macros today.  Do you mean how much I am missing them by?  Most days about 20g here and there but some of the worst days, over 100g, luckily those are not too frequent.  Either way, they all add up to spinning my wheels and making negative progress.  I believe Joe has a pretty radical plan for me to try to see if it works better with my physiology.  He wanted to see if I want to give it a shot and I said definitely worth a shot. Now I am just waiting for the details.  I am really excited about it.  I have never tried it and I am hoping it works well. 

Excellent!!!  Team work is good.
I'm glad that Joe will be trying something new with you.  Sometimes the newness of a plan is what gets us out of the rut.  I have been playing with my macros as well.  In the past I have had a range of 125-135 protein, 100-110 carbs, 25-35 fat.  Usually I would stay around 125-130p/105c/27-30f.  This time around I have been aiming for 135/100/35 and so far I am seeing the results I want.  Of course I like the extra fat (more almond and peanut butter)  

When you miss the numbers is it as a whole or is one macro more out of sync than the others?  When I go off track it is usually with the carbs.  Now that I am eating at the higher range of the protein and fat I find myself having an easier time keeping this under control. 
Also, when you go off track with the numbers is it because you are hungry or for some other reason?  How do you space your meals and what kind of portion sizes do you prepare?
 

Those are pretty darn close the the macros I am supposed to be doing now (before the new plan) Yes, it is usually with carbs.  and with the extra carbs, the residual protein and fat goes up as well, but ultimately, it is carbs.   I have a much better time when I am not eating as much carbs, because starchy carbs are like a trigger food, the more I have, the more I want.  I like vegetable carbs though because they fill me up, and I don't feel like I want more, but its not easy to get 110 g carbs with just vegetables.

My going over definitely starts with hunger.   I get up at 5:00 AM and I do cardio and weight training and then drive to work and my first meal isn't until 9:00 AM.  I could throw in a protein shake, but 1/2 C water with some powder in it does nothing for my appetite at that point so I would rather save my protein grams for whole food.  Then I get that first meal (1/2 C oatmeal usually with protein powder) and its not enough so I have more, then I feel like I have blown it for the day, so I just eat what I want for the day with the thought that I better eat good, because tomorrow I am going to cut food way back.  Then tomorrow comes and the same thing happens until I am in a pattern of overeating every day.  Its a vicious cycle that starts with hunger and ends with emotional eating.   I need to break the cycle and it starts by planning something extra in the morning when I am hungry and being ok with that extra planned snack (lets say 3 oz. raw carrots which are filling, or an apple) then proceeding with the rest of the day as planned.  Then try the next day without the extra snack and start to be comfortable with the hunger and get control over it.

The new plan is going to cut out the starchy carbs.  I think they may be the culprit to some extent.  My first meal this morning is salmon and broccoli.  That is filling and I don't think I will crave more salmon in the morning!  To curb the hunger, I will have 1/2T of natural peanut butter before I get to work.  For me, protein and fat really dull my sense of hunger much more quickly than carbs.

Just cardio today.  I went to bed super late last night and I was just too tired when the alarm went off at 4:45, so I decided to sleep an extra hour and a half and I will just push my weight workouts out a day.  No worries, as long as I get them in.  I am excited to get my new plan from Joe.   I have my low carb day planned out to hopefully match what he gives me.

I am a little over 15 weeks out, so no more time to mess around.  My weight was at the highest its been in 4 years this morning at 134.6 (due tofive days of being way over on carbs) and my hope is to get it below 130 where is should be as soon as possible and below 120 where I want it to be as soon as possible after that.  This will take a lot of hard work, focus and dedication, but I am ready.  That number on the scale was enough of a shocker to make me totally ready to nail my macros from here on out to the show and well beyond.  Its a new way of life so I needs to embrace it since my goal is to always be super lean.  On that note, down to do my cardio. 

Hi Annette.  I hope you had a good cardio session. 
When I read your post about the macros the following jumped out at me:
Your food timing is way off for the morning routine and the emphasis on saving the protein for later instead of after the workout is most likely making you hungrier than if you had the shake immediately after training.  I used to think the same way and found that I was hungry more than usual..  What I started doing was taking one meal and splitting it so that half was eaten before training and half later.  You could apply this same principle to your morning routine. If you got up, trained and then had half of a shake or meal and the other half when you got to work you might not over eat when you get to work. I know that the belly may not think that this is going to work, but the body will respond and you most likely will be less tempted to overdo the macros. Of course eating a half cup of cottage cheese or yogurt or 2 oz of cold cuts might make you feel more full until you get to the office. Worth a try along with your new macros.  Can't wait to see what Joe has in store for you.  Enjoy the day!

Thanks Jannette.  Cardio was really good.  I worked up a good sweat.  I don't like to eat a lot before I train.  Especially that early, I feel weighed down.  I tried something new today in anticipation of my new macros and it worked well.  I had a 1/2 T of natural peanut butter before I trained and then BCCA powder and glutamine powder in water after I trained and it really took the edge off.

I did great on my macros.  I did 135p/80c/35f.  I brought the carbs way down knoiwing Joe was going to hit me with some low carbs.  I have been used to eating close to 200 carbs these past couple of weeks, so it felt like a big cut.   I got all my carbs from vegetables and a little skim milk and peanut butter, no starchy carbs.  I thought I would be starving, but I felt great, not hungry.     Probably a combination of raising my fat and having a lot of carb reserves.  I may not feel this great in a week when I have gotten the carbs out.  My estimate on what Joe might give me wasn't too far off.   I was right on with the protein, but 30g too high on carbs and 10-15g low on the fat.  I have the details in my diet log of my new macros. 

I think it will be a little bit of a stuggle the first week because it is so radically different than how I have been eating, but I really think I am going to end up really liking it.   I was afraid of eating such a high amount of fat, but the carbs are much lower and what ultimately matters is that I am in a caloric defecit, so I think its going to work well.  This is definitely not Joe's favorite way for his clients to lose fat, his preference is energy from carbs, but I think this may work well, at least temporarily to get me going in the right direction, control the cravings and appetite and get some fat off.   I never really intend to go very high on carbs anyway, even when I am maintaining and I want to get most of them from vegetables.

Second day on the low carb diet and I still feel pretty good.   It was a little harder the second day because I am dipping further into the carb reserves.  I think it may even get a little harder before its gets easier, but I know it will be worth it.  On a good note, I feel so much better not being all carb bloated and I have dropped three pounds to 131.6.  I know I won't lose 3 lbs every 2 days and its just water, but either way, it feels good.

Now its the weekend and today will be fine because I have a lot of errands to do after back and triceps and cardio, so no time to be hungry.  Tomorrow I have a wedding though and that could pose a challenge.  It goes from 4:30 to midnight.   My plan is to put one of those tuna pouches in my purse and then when dinner is served, there is always a salad, so I will just throw the tuna on the salad and I will be fine.  That will have to last me the whole night, but as soon as I get home, I will drink a protein shake and go to bed.   Of course it will be a night of little sleep since I have to get up at 5:00 Am to train legs.   HHhmm, I may have to change my schedule around, 4 hours of sleep will make for a pathetic leg and cardio session.

Down to 130.2 this morning.  Diet is going good.  I lost a little over 4 lbs since I have been on it.  I know that the loss won't keep up at this pace, in fact it may even pop up a bit, but it is feeling really good to see the scale do down.

Just cardio today, tired and headachy from the wedding.  Its now truly 15 weeks (well a teeny bit less) so everything has to be 100%.  I was a little off at the wedding last night (which is why I am surprised my weight still went down, but it may show tomorrow, sometimes its delayed).  Luckily I have no more events.  I do have a week at the Cape with my family coming mid-August.  But the place we are staying has a full kitchen with stove/microwave/refrigerator and a gym, so shouldn't be any problem.

Tomorrow is my first day where I can eat starchy carbs (I get a carb up every 5th day) and I am a little nervous about it because I have been doing well without them.  But, I understand its necessary to keep my met rate from tanking, so I can't skip it, though I am tempted.

Great job!  I am soooo happy to read that this is working!!!

Hey Annette, I'm a little late here, I wasn't even sure anyone posted in the journal section cause it says zero posts, guess I gotta get used to this new forum.  I am surprised you decided to compete after all, last I recall you said you didn't enjoy it very much.  That you would feel good getting on the stage and let the outcome of the show upset you.  Sounds like your heading in the right direction with the diet.  Is Joe the one who has you doing 80 carbs or is that what you set for yourself?
 

Thanks Jannette, the new diet is going very well (except for the Wedding Sunday, but I will cut myself a break for that one).  Today was my first day with starchy carbs and it was actually harder than the low carb days.  Joe planned it so I get those carbs in one meal and the rest from vegetables, so that made it easier to control.  But boy, that oatmeal just cranks up my appetite and makes me want more!  Luckily I got through it successfully. Back to the 50 carbs until Sunday, yay.  I haven't weighed myself because I am afraid of the rebound from Sunday and I don't want to get all frustrated, so I will keep away from the scale until the weekend.  I am also afraid all this fat is going to make it hard to lose fat, but I guess I need it to keep the appetite under control and get my energy from somewhere since the carbs are so low.  It definitely helps with the appetite.

Hi Michelle.  Yes, I am going to do bikini after all.  I think it will be fun.  I really got sick of figure.  I just couldn't compete in that category and ended up feeling bad about myself.  My plan isn't even to place, its just to get up there and have fun posing and give my husband a few good pictures (that is his hobby).  I tried to talk myself out of competing because it seemed my family was so against it, but who are they to say what my hobby should be?  My husband and kids are with me and that is what matters most.

Actually, its 50g carbs (80g was my practice for the lower carbs) and that is Joe's idea.  He thought it may work better with my physiology and it seems to be working quite well.  The lower carbs and higher fat really help with my appetite and cravings and GI issues.   I don't think my body likes grains very much.  I am doing great with meat/fish, vegetables and nuts/flax oil (even some low fat cheese here and there).   The nuts can be easy to overdo though, so I got rid of those today and I will rely on the oils (flax and olive and EFA capsules)  olives and salmon.  Cardio was dropped to 6 days per week since the carbs are low.  That will be hard (of course I may be glad about it in a week or two) not to do it every day.

I am working on the zero posts, its an issue because they are sub forums but never fear I will fix them by weeks end

Wow, you are really doing great!  I am happy for you.  I too find that the rice, potatoes, oatmeal, etc. causes me to feel more hungry and bloated.  I have been trying to cut back and fortunately have found some whole wheat wraps that are working better for me.  I am guessing that they are good since they are low in carbs and have a good protein count. 
I give you credit, 50 g of carbs is not a lot, but at least it is working

Thanks, while your working on the zero post issue, how about making it so that at the time we are posting a message in the thread we can see all the previous posts.  This way if I want to respond to a few different things in previous posts I can just scroll back up or down to look at it.  Now I forgot what Annette had wrote me in her post so I need to open a new window to go look and remember.  Most message boards show all the posts on that page in the thread when posting.
 

Annette, I have a friend like that too.  She just is less edgey and feels better doing the lower carbs when dieting.  Her blood sugar is more stable and she isn't craving carbs as much.  Glad to see that is working for you.  Doing less cardio is necessary though on such low carbs because otherwise I think you would crash and burn.  Good luck with the bikini prep, I'm looking forward to it myself for the spring.  Just out of curiosity who in your family is not supportive of your competing and why do you even bother telling them?  I don't tell anyone I don't think would be supportive.

Well Michelle, its my parents mostly, and I share everything with them.  They don't think its healthy to put myself through that.  I think most people's opinion of this hobby is based on ignorance, so I can't get too upset.   Its just easier when people support you. KWIM?

My parents are not supportive either and I am not close with them so it doesn't matter.  I don't tell them if I plan to compete or not.  Since I bring my food a lot of the times anyway with them, they never even know.  Everyone else is in my life is very supportive and admires the dedication I have with the whole process.  I really only tell people on an as need to know basis, works better that way for me.
 

Finally broke through the 130 mark after months.  Down to 129.6 Lets hope that is not just a fluke and it sticks and keeps dropping.  If nothing else, its incentive to really stick to the diet and get in those cardios and training.   I am exhausted today which means i slept later and will have to get to the gym tonight for legs.  I hate going in the afternoon after a long day of work, but I had to listen to my body this morning.  Hey, getting more sleep was one of my goals and at least I accomplished that today.   Getting by on 5 - 6 hours a night takes its toll after a while.  Today is a higher carb day on my new carb cycle, but I still intend to get them all from vegetables because my stomach has felt soo much better since I started limiting the grains. 

Nice to see you got past the 130 mark. 
Sleep is good, I have to agree that listening to the body is more important sometimes. 

I haven't posted in a while.  My internet is down at home and I can't post at work even though I can read the posts on the forum.  I was following the modified keto plan and following it very well.  I got stuck with my weight and just couldn't drop below 130 no matter what.  I got so frustrated.  I even incorporated a couple of kickboxing classes each week.  I love them.  Its an hour of intense training so it ends up being a combo of cardio and strength.  I love it and it feels great to incorporate something different.  I am going to keep doing that twice each week.  I am so glad I went on vacation because I think the day to day was getting to me.

I had a great time at Cape Cod with my family.  I didn't count macros but ate sensible and trained daily.  I came back three pounds lighter at 126.8 and it feels so great to finally get under 130.  i have a feeling it won't last.  Back to the everyday troubles of reality.  The stress of my job, the inactivity of being at a desk all day, the lack of sleep and the obsessing over what goes in my mouth and my weight all seem to have such a negative effect on how I look and feel.  I think a good part of my weight problem at home is water.  I seem to retain it with all the stressors going on.  I am going to need to work on things to try and get myself in a better place so I can keep the weight dropping instead of climbing.

That being said, I touched base with Joe to see what our game plan is now that I am only 11 weeks or so out from Nancy's show and all vacations are over.  I will see what he thinks.  I have 10lbs to drop, give or take.

Sounds like vacation was just what you needed Annette!  Nice work on the drop.  :)

Thanks Julie, now I just need  to keep it going!

Its been a tough week.  Feeling lousy all week.  I got 2 awful migraines.  One was so bad I was home from work in bed all day.  My whole body has been achy and my strength has been down the tubes.  Usually the first set of anything I feel like I won't make it through and it isn't until the third set I start to feel a little strength.  It has just been so weird.  The diet was all over the place and I am frankly not surprised I didn't gain more weight than I did.  The day after I got home from vacation I gained back the three lbs I lost.  That was with good eating and its not surprising.  It happens every time.  But at least I weigh the same today as last Sunday after a pretty bad week. I am convinced the best way for me to drop weight and get ready for a show is to go on vacation for a couple months.  I would be ripped!

I experimented this week and decided to record all the extra nibbles I take here and there throughout the day and it was very telling. I have been dillusional thinking I am doing everything right and not losing weight.  It was very shocking how much I am over.  I can't believe I don't weigh much more quite frankly.  However, this was comforting in a way to know that if I do in fact stay tight with the diet and not nibble, I am certain to drop the weight.

I talked with Joe and we decided to try an more stable strategy than the keto, or the higher carb/mod fat or even cycling that I have tried in the past.  When I have a higher level of any macro (i.e. fat on the keto) I tend to overdo that macro because I feel like I have leeway.  So we settled on 120-125p/100c/20-25f.  All of those numbers are neither overly high or low.  I think something steady will get me on track.  I only have 10 or so weeks to the show and about 13 lbs to lose give or take, so it will be a very close call, but I am going to go for it anyway.  I dont' want to give up.  We are going to make September a turn around month.

Annette, you are not alone with the uphill battle to keep it all under control and you WILL get there. 
I just emailed Joe & Sean this morning on how I too have had a bad past few weeks.  One day is good, the next out of control.  I even started binging, something I am not known for.  Very upsetting.  The difference between us the rest of the population is that despite the setbacks we always find the strength to push forward and we know when we are at the point when we have to ask the calvary to move in.  That is why we succeed even if success comes at a slower pace than we would like.

Ten weeks is enough time to get yourself ready, and you will be ready

Hey Annette, I hear you on the nibbles totally adding up.  I have been finding my spoon in a jar of almond butter a lot lately.  It doesn't really effect the scale for me because I usually get so full I don't eat for another 4-5 hrs.  I would never do that during prep but I am just enjoying myself now.  Just keep moving forward, now that you know how damaging the grazing is, you can do something about it.  Stay strong!