Food Diaries Revamped

What church was that ?

I jest . . . . good luck!  

Oh just the local Congregational church .  It was unusual that I actually paid attention.  Normally I day dream in church and have my best conversations with the big guy when I am in the gym alone.  Go figure.  I'll take all the help I can get, lol! 
Anyway, thanks Alan.

The food logs continue.  The scale is a little stagnant but I find the consistency of the logs and staying on track with the macros and types of food ingested to be progress.  I am confident that the scale will show a downward trend soon.  In the meantime I remain committed and work hard to get into the right training and dieting groove that will yield the results I seek. 
Darn this feels good

Time to celebrate, the new kitchen has been delivered.  Now the cooking may begin.  This will be a plus for making progress with the diet. 

Oh the struggle.  This may be the worst one of all.  Here is part of the email I sent to Joe & Sean this morning:

I have been having a hard time the past few weeks, more so than ever.  Every time I thought I had it all in perspective I proved myself wrong.
I have gained a few pounds from the uncontrollable binges that took place, I feel every ache and pain that I've ignored in the past, and I
have definitely lost sight of the goal.  It has only been in the past few nights, with last night being the break through night, that I have
come to terms with many things.

I have spent the last at least 6 weeks tackling the many challenges of getting my personal, professional, financial life in order to be where I
want to be.  Usually training and dieting help me get through this but this time I found myself dreading both.  I had a 2 hour massage last
night that made me realize that the dread of going to the gym stems from having so many aches and pains in the joints and a lot of tightness in
the muscle.  Having realized this I know I need to change up the plan for my training.   For one, I have a lot of discomfort in the knees and the back of my right leg when I run.  Also, the right arm has a lot of problems in the shoulder and elbow.  I am certain that the computer work is at the core of this pain so as I work on this I also need to find some way to hit chest and shoulders differently to overcome this issue. 

Having got better sleep last night and working on the goals, today has been the best dieting day in weeks.  For once I feel in control and
don't have any cravings leading me down the bingeing path.  Even so, I will need to work on the diet.

 As far as the goal is concerned, I have broken it down into smaller pieces.  From now until camp I need to work on losing weight and
improving the muscle mass I have retained throughout all of this madness.  Then, at camp we can reassess where I am and set up the next
step that will eventually lead to me competing in a show.

I plan on spending the rest of the week and weekend working on the diet and a way to improve the muscle soreness, tightness, etc.  I am thinking
of taking a stretching or yoga class in hopes that it will help.

 It has been a very frustrating few weeks.  The highs of thinking I had it together followed by the let down by the out of control days really wrecked havoc on me especially mentally.  I am really surprised that I am having such a great day today.  Today I feel like the past few weeks never happened.  Very strange although I am not complaining.  It feels GREAT to have a clean day of eating, no mood swings, and to be in control.  In some ways I feel thankful that I got to wrestle one demon at at time and not all at once.  It could have been worse.

Now that I am getting the focus back, here are some good things to report.  The past few weeks have allowed me to work on many aspects of my life that needed change and/or attention.  I have new goals and plans of action in place for my work, finances, and home life.  I am starting my own business and a wellness program at my church.  The work on my home is almost complete and I have a roommate which is pretty cool.  I have been spending less time at work.  I feel like I have direction as to how I want my life to be.  Very cool.

It feels good to get this off my chest and to share

So the new program is in effect.  I like it.  My new macros are 125-130 protein, 115-1`25 carbs, 30-35 fat.  No complaints here having to eat more food
The goal is to drop about one pound a week.  I am liking this even though my body has already adjusted and has that nagging all day hunger thing going on  hee hee.  Just means it is working.